Togusa: *upstairs* Happy Thoughts... Happy Thoughts... this assignment can't last forever. Soon I'll be back home with my family...

Togusa prudently puts down the gun as Jin follows him up to the office.

Jin: Please help us, Togusa-san! I cannot stand this. It is like a horrible yet ironically funny story concocted by an insane coyote on crack.

Togusa: Ah... hm.

Jin: I never expected to be cursed with a tail. And look! I have -ears-! Plus I ended up sleeping with Mugen in a downtown department store--

Togusa: Well, yeah but--whoa, wait. What was that last bit?

Mugen joins them a few moments later, and Togusa tries valiantly to get some paperwork done (perhaps in the hope that they'll get bored and wander off).

Mugen: Hey, Jin! I think I've got an idea how to make him help us.

Jin: Yes?

Mugen: *whispers their plan*

Mugen: Yo, Togusa.

Togusa: *sigh* Guys, this place is really off-limits. We're on a stake-out.

Jin: Oh, you have problems with vampires, too?

Togusa: I-- what? No, look, it's a top-secret assignment. We're undercover.

Mugen: *elbows Jin* Toldya. They're totally under the covers!

Jin: *hisses* Be quiet.

Togusa: *blink blink* Look, you're not really supposed to be up here. Batou and I are doing surveillance on some... uh, unusual activity.

Mugen: *snickers* I bet you are.

Togusa: *eye tics*

Togusa: So anyway, I feel bad for you guys, but we can't blow our cover. Uhhh, Jin? What are you doing?

Togusa: ...Jin? Do you know what that is, Jin? Why don't you put that down.

Togusa has that particular "oh shit, I'm gonna get fired" look.

Togusa approaches Jin very slowly, in an attempt to get the weapon back. Why don't you give that, here? It belongs to Batou, and you know he doesn't like people touching his stuff.

Jin: No. I have a plan.

Mugen: Me 'n' Jin are gonna go over to those damn wizards and MAKE them change us back! Or else we're gonna change THEM. Into ghosts.

Togusa: Uhhh... that's kind of illegal...

Mugen: An' giving people tails ain't??

Togusa: *blank look* ...Well... uh?

Jin: No. We are determined. It is too difficult to obtain katanas, so we are going to do this the modern way!

Togusa: Look, Jin, don't play with that... give it here. It's dangerous.

***(insert your favorite "bang" noise here)***

Togusa: ..... oh shit. JIN!

Jin: Ahh... I don't remember reading this in the script.

Mugen: Argh!

Coy: ..

Mugen: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio...

Togusa: Mugen, that isn't even a death scene. And since when did you read Shakespeare, anyway??

Mugen: ***(insert your favorite dramatic-death sound here)*** Gargle! Gak! Mawrgh!

Togusa: *sigh*

Jin: I think I made a mistake.

Togusa: *facepalm!* I don't get paid enough for this...

Togusa calls for an ambulance. Mugen is dying!

(Don't play with guns, kiddies!)

Jin: What have I done?

Togusa: I think I'm getting a migraine...

Jin: I see a great flashing beast outside! I must go protect Mugen...!

Togusa: *groan* That's the goddamn ambulance!

Togusa: Don't worry, Jin. Mugen will be fine. This ambulance will take him to a hospital, where they'll fix him.

Jin: I am a failure. I do not deserve the title of samurai.

Togusa: ...I didn't know you were a samurai.

Jin: *argh*

Batou accosts Jin on the way into the ambulance.

Batou: Look here, shit-head, if you and your punk-ass little friend have blown our cover, I am gonna take it out of your hide!

Togusa: *clears his throat* Uhh, Batou? Ix-nay on the outing-shay. *points to the gathering crowd of curious onlookers*

Batou: ....Shit.

Togusa: You think he'll be alright?

Batou: Oh, yeah. Perfectly fine. Just like our fuckin' careers.

Togusa has that particular "oh shit" look again...

Once inside, Batou expresses his calm regard for Togusa's discretion in summoning an ambulance.

Batou: Dumb ass! What happened to being low-key?

Togusa: Well, he was injured--

Batou: And you couldn't just have let him bleed to death quietly upstairs?? Now -everybody's- gonna know something's going on!

Togusa: Well, I don't think anyone suspects except for Mugen--

Batou: I mean our stake-out, you dumb ass!

Togusa: Oh. Well, should we follow them...?

Batou: Might as well. Our cover is blown to shit, anyway. I'm going to change. Be good to get back in my regular body, anyway.

Togusa: *pause* ....Hey, does this mean our "Tribute to Gilbert and Sullivan" is off for next week? Because I had just picked out the tights...

Batou: *grumbles* Get your ass upstairs.